I made many empty promises about this exciting episode, months ago but never really felt the urge to put finger to keyboard. I still don't, but seeing as this important tale of WOE and DESPAIR, needed to be shared and no other idiot would do it...
Welcome dear readers to Musson's office. It's prime location is just opposite Churchills pub in Ramsgate. Marvelous panaramic views sweep across the vista of the harbour. The Office is used most days , both, early monings and afternoons. It offers a relaxing retreat from the hustle and bustle of being hassled by da pigs in the high street. Alone with his i-pod of Metal, the Musson-meister does some of his best work here.
Click on the secretively taken snap. Yes, that is Musson in action with a can of brew. Hang on a goddamn cotton-picking minute. Why the F is HE not in this fabled office you've heard so much about? Well, my fellow Musson voyeurs, there is a very good reason...
OH YES YOU CAN BELIEVE YOUR EYES.
That's right, some dirty cunt did the biggest shit ever in our HERO's office. I must tell you straight away that Musson DID NOT and i repeat DID NOT give birth to this DISGRACE TO HUMANITY. Not even the Musson shits on his own doorstep.
Although seriously pissed off about this foul addition to his work space, Darren, did admire the sheer impossible beauty of such a turd, and was most insistant i took a photo of it. So i made a special trip to witness this SICKENING BETHEMOTH.
It was fucking HUGE.
The photo doesn't do it justice. Clicking on the said photo will enchance you viewing experience though.It could have easily come out of a fucking enormous gorilla's arse (and i should know)
At least a week had passed between this VILE AFFRONT TO GOD being laid and me getting around to photo it. And even after this length of time , this "monsterous carbuncle on the face of an old friend" still really, really fucking stank like fucking shit. In spite of all this, i too could see the same MACCAVELIAN BEAUTY that Darren had spoke of. And i wept. Actually it was the stench that made me eyes water. Men don't cry as you well know.
EPI-LOG tee-hee
After a couple of more days the HIDEOUS CORRUPTION had mysterously vanished.
Some lucky TDC worker had something to tell the kids about that day.
Even to this day Sherlock Musson is no closer to finding the culprit. All Daz's groovy chums deny laying that monster cable. No-one dared to attempt to take a DNA sample from the HELLISH STOOL. All leads, like the poo, have finally gone cold.
The most singular case of THE BROWN DAY AT THE OFFICE remains open at Scotland Yard.
Please note Musson has never heard of Ricky Garvais.
Although seriously pissed off about this foul addition to his work space, Darren, did admire the sheer impossible beauty of such a turd, and was most insistant i took a photo of it. So i made a special trip to witness this SICKENING BETHEMOTH.
It was fucking HUGE.
The photo doesn't do it justice. Clicking on the said photo will enchance you viewing experience though.It could have easily come out of a fucking enormous gorilla's arse (and i should know)
At least a week had passed between this VILE AFFRONT TO GOD being laid and me getting around to photo it. And even after this length of time , this "monsterous carbuncle on the face of an old friend" still really, really fucking stank like fucking shit. In spite of all this, i too could see the same MACCAVELIAN BEAUTY that Darren had spoke of. And i wept. Actually it was the stench that made me eyes water. Men don't cry as you well know.
EPI-LOG tee-hee
After a couple of more days the HIDEOUS CORRUPTION had mysterously vanished.
Some lucky TDC worker had something to tell the kids about that day.
Even to this day Sherlock Musson is no closer to finding the culprit. All Daz's groovy chums deny laying that monster cable. No-one dared to attempt to take a DNA sample from the HELLISH STOOL. All leads, like the poo, have finally gone cold.
The most singular case of THE BROWN DAY AT THE OFFICE remains open at Scotland Yard.
Please note Musson has never heard of Ricky Garvais.
