Good evening Musson Stalkers. I've postponed the promised "Musson Office" blog to make room for this crucial newsflash.
At 1pm Sunday just gone, i had a visitation from the mighty man himself armed with a bottle of whiskey. (It's an odd tale how he prucured it and far too long winded for me to explain) Needless to say i was prepared for some sort of LUNACY but with hindsight i should've sent Darren on His way long before He'd drunk half the bottle. By Himself. Swigged out the bottle. Old school.
Anyway, i was intent on putting my dartboard up that day, and Musson wasn't going to stop me, in fact, i forced him to help me.
Ok, ok that was a mistake. I fully realise that now, but an extra pair of hands (a little less shaky pair of hands preferable) are really 'handy' when trying to install a dartcase and board.
Ok, ok that was a mistake. I fully realise that now, but an extra pair of hands (a little less shaky pair of hands preferable) are really 'handy' when trying to install a dartcase and board.
To cut a short story shorter after the drilling was finished (can you guess where this is going?) Musson insisted on 'having a go' on my lovely hammer drill. When i say insisted, i mean he didn't fucking shut up about 'having a go'. I of course said no again and again and a-fucking-gain. But pissed up pissheads pissed on free whiskey NEVER take no for an answer.
I must confess dear reader that i, a mere mortal, snapped. The constant barage got to me and i foolishly growled, and i quote verbatim:
I must confess dear reader that i, a mere mortal, snapped. The constant barage got to me and i foolishly growled, and i quote verbatim:
"HAVE A FUCKING GO ON THE FUCKING DRILL"
And of course He jumped at the chance. Darren picked up my powerful tool (ho fucking ho) and put it to His forehead and pulled the trigger. The drill whirled into life and He held it there for a good 10 seconds. Don't panic He didn't die. In fact He sneaked another go 5 minutes later.
I don't need anyone to tell me i shouldn't have let this panto get as far as it did. He might of got claret all over my oche! Seriously though, in my defense , i wasn't expecting an attempted self lobotomy. Then again maybe i should've seen it coming.
Musson left about 20 mins later and to be blunt i was over joyed. To say He'd got on my moobs would be one way of putting it. On His way out i surveyed the damage to his guillver. The indestructable terminator-esque Musson had only broken the skin a bit. Still, Darren takes self harming to a new level bless Him.
If only i had time to tell you about Darren Eric Musson reminiscing about the times (yes times - as in more than once) He stuck a drill down his urethra(that's His japs eye you racists). For masturbatory purpose naturally.
It's such a 'great' story He told me twice in the space of half a hour-lucky me! I can't wait for next weeks visit.
Peace out Mofos.
I don't need anyone to tell me i shouldn't have let this panto get as far as it did. He might of got claret all over my oche! Seriously though, in my defense , i wasn't expecting an attempted self lobotomy. Then again maybe i should've seen it coming.
Musson left about 20 mins later and to be blunt i was over joyed. To say He'd got on my moobs would be one way of putting it. On His way out i surveyed the damage to his guillver. The indestructable terminator-esque Musson had only broken the skin a bit. Still, Darren takes self harming to a new level bless Him.
If only i had time to tell you about Darren Eric Musson reminiscing about the times (yes times - as in more than once) He stuck a drill down his urethra(that's His japs eye you racists). For masturbatory purpose naturally.
It's such a 'great' story He told me twice in the space of half a hour-lucky me! I can't wait for next weeks visit.
